Taking A Stand

I started posting blogs to the Gig Harbor Patch a few months ago.  Just some thoughts and insights I have on everyday life.  Light fare.  Nothing too controversial.  No real political content.  No real take-a-stand diatribe.  In fact, I didn't even bother to change the default blog description because “Joe Flach’s thoughts and ruminations” seemed an apt description for what I planned on posting.  Just thought I would try to entertain and amuse through my writing.

Today, I will venture outside of this arena just a little bit to share my personal thoughts on a current hot topic in America.

First, I wish to take you on a trip in my time machine … back to 1977.  This is when a young man I was very close to, someone I had known my whole life, who happened to be attending the same university I was attending, asked me to meet him in his dorm room to discuss a personal matter.  He then proceeded to share with me that he was gay and wanted to explain exactly what that meant and how he was choosing to address this matter.  He told me that the first and most difficult struggle he had with this trait was in admitting to himself that he was gay.  In his/our upbringing, being gay was not something you were supposed to be.  It was a sin.  It was wrong.  It was morally offensive.  It was something he was not supposed to be.  So, he tried his hardest not to be that thing.  Once he discovered that he could not pray himself out of his sexual preference; he could not change it by trying to be with girls; he could not wish it away; meditate it away; intellectually alter his physical desires; cry it away; scream it away; or run away from it; once HE finally accepted that he was gay, like it or not, he decided that he would not hide that fact from himself or from his family any longer.  At 21 years of age, my brother “came out of the closet”.

I’ll always remember that day.  Jimmy explained to me that he thought people are born with certain traits.  Some of those traits are physical in nature: the color of your skin; the color of your hair and eyes; your height; bone structure, etc.; some of those traits are aptitudes: you might have a skill for art; music; athletics; languages; running; math; introverted; extroverted; etc.; and, some of those traits are preferences: food preferences; smell preferences; color preferences; and, sexual preferences.  All of these traits – traits that you are born with – make you the person you are.  Sure, you can dye your hair blonde – but if you were born with black hair, you are a black haired person.  Sure, you can date and lay in bed with women, but if you were born with a sexual preference for men (given you are a man), you are a gay person.

I know there are many reading this that strongly believe this to be bunk.  There are probably people reading this that think I am misguided, foolish and amoral.  Even though I don't like that - I want people to like me through my blogs - so be it.  I fully understand, given the world many of us have grown up in, how people can harbor strong resentment against and hate towards homosexuals.  I understand.  But, I think the tide is turning.  Yesterday’s decision helps support this belief.  And, I happen to think this is a good thing.

Here is a poem I wrote a few years back based on that day back in 1977 and addressing this topic.  Given the events of yesterday, I thought it was appropriate to dig this poem up and share it with others today.  Thank you for having patience with me as I go outside of my typical posting pattern.  I promise that my next post will be lighter fare once again.

TAKING A STAND, by Joe Flach

If you were taught that something was bad,

Sinful and evil and terribly mad;

And then found out that that’s what you were -

How would you feel, if that did occur?

If you were taught that a lifestyle was wrong,

And people who lived it weren’t morally strong;

And then realized it was what you preferred -

How would you cope, if that did occur?

Sexual preferences are programmed inside;

It is nature, not nurture - and nothing to hide.

It’s been that way for millions of years,

Though repressed by many through intimidation and fear.

If you are homophobic, I just wish to say

There are some in your circles who are unknowingly gay

They just won’t admit it, because of the way you’ll react

But they are who they are – and you won’t change that fact

It could be your son or your brother; a friend or a boss

But they know if you knew, your respect would be lost

They don’t fit your stereotype so you never will know

And due to your ignorance and hatred they’ll never tell you so

Wouldn’t it be great if each of us could set an example

And this fear of homosexuality we could stomp on and trample

I, myself, am not a homosexual man

But for my brethren who are – I will take a stand