Self Ruination

I have to ask, did you take enough
all that you need
are you more fulfilled
watching me bleed 

you thought I did not know
that I could not see
every word I dropped
you'd gather up 
you think I did not plan it so

I wonder what it is you want
what is it that you desire
you have fallen so far down
into a pit full of your lies
consumed by it's fire 

Your words, they have defined you
distinguish what you have become
I was once so enamored by your talents
now, I am saddened by what you have
done 

You have wasted all you could have been
so caught up with who your weren't
so intent on tripping me up
never seeing it was you that got burnt

You were always so predictable
so easily read
I had hoped that you would change
I have given chances and forgiven but now
I must admit my love for you is dead 

I do not care so much that you have 
hurt me
I somehow knew that you would
it is not me that you have ruined
look in the eyes of the woman in the 
mirror, 
do you think she would change it all
if she could? 

You broke her, stole her life
you made her so small and limited
you were so busy harming another's wife
can't you see you're falling
how tiny you have become

I once thought of you as mentor
now you make my mind numb


With great sadness for someone who could not love themselves enough to grow and heal. You are too damned old to live in so much hate and unhappiness. Stop being envious of everyone else and be happy in your own life. My heart breaks for the promise I have always seen in you.