Finally, Five Guys

It’s not you, it’s me.

I’m sorryand .  Things have changed.  You didn’t do anything wrong.  In fact, there is a lot that you do right and I'll keep coming back to you in spite of Five Guys Burger and Fries opening in Puyallup and, in January 2012, at Lakewood Towne Center. 

Blazing Onion, we’ve spent a little too much time together lately and I’ve needed some space.  Gourmet Burger, some of the pickier members of my family can’t accept your unique and yummy spin on burgers and fries.  It’s been difficult to see you as often as I would like without complete family approval.  But I could never replace your specialties like Blazing Onion’s BOB sauce or Gourmet Burger’s beet chips.

First, let’s address the elephant in the room.  I know that Five Guys isn’t from around here.  And worse, they are part of a national chain.  I usually go for the local type and my loyalty will always be to the hometown establishments.  But sometimes you fall for someone who is from out of town.  While I think this could be a serious, long term relationship, it certainly won’t be exclusive.

So what is it that makes Five Guys so different?

As for their burgers, they use only fresh beef.  No fillers and the patties are hand formed each day.  They are still bewilderingly flavorful and juicy even though they are cooked well-done. 

What really make them stand out are the toppings.  They offer 15 free options which include the standards but also a few exotics like green peppers or hot sauce.  To make it easy, you can order it “all the way” which includes all the best toppings (in my opinion):  mayo, lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, ketchup, and mustard.  Or pick and choose to your heart’s desire.

One more thing on the burgers.  They come in four types: hamburger, cheeseburger, bacon burger, and bacon cheeseburger.  These are also offered in a “little” size.  Beware!  They are exactly the same except the regular burger has two beef patties.  I am perfectly happy with the bun-topping-beef ratio of the little burger but order the regular if you like a really beefy burger.

What about the fries?  Hand cut throughout the day as needed then fried in peanut oil and served regular or cajun style.  They come in two sizes, regular or large.  The regular will easily feed two people and the large, three to four people.  Trust me on that.  We didn’t believe it the first time and ordered a regular for each person in our group.  We threw away a tragic amount of French fries that day and won’t commit that faux pas again.

When you walk in the front door, the path to the front counter (where you order first) is lined with bags of whole potatoes.  A sign announces which farm is providing the potatoes for your fries today.  Perched on top of the bags are large boxes of peanuts in the shell with paper bowls for your snacking pleasure.

Now on to the atmosphere.  It’s bright, really bright.  The stark red and white décor makes you feel like you are walking into another dimension when you come in from a dark Northwest night.  It has an old fashioned diner feel but the music blaring in the background is bluesy classic rock.  You can watch your food being efficiently prepared in the open kitchen.

In spite of the ever-present crowds, employees are clearing tables non-stop and restocking the self-serve drink bar.  Constant sweeping of the floor is necessary to clean up the peanut shells that pile up.  I’ve been to “roadhouse” type establishments where I felt perfectly comfortable tossing shells on the floor but somehow it seemed out of place here.  I couldn’t bring myself to do it although I was clearly in the minority.

Here are a few other interesting points.  They have online ordering if you want your food ready on arrival.  Also, their menu is very limited.  Burgers and fries, of course, and a tasty kosher beef dog, split lengthwise and grilled.  It’s served in a toasted bun with the same topping options as the burgers.  There is also a veggie sandwich and grilled cheese.  That’s it, besides fountain drinks and bottled water.

I’ve heard a rumor that the Puyallup franchise owners have been scouting around Gig Harbor for a future restaurant.  Gig Harbor would be a great location…but before you start feeling threatened, Blazing Onion and Gourmet Burger, ?  All three of you were on it but Five Guys was in a completely different category.  There’s room for all of you and it’s true; variety is the spice of life!